What I'm working on, and what is Mariah Carey on?

For the past couple of days I've been working on a story about unscrupulous Microsoft software resellers who are selling the vastly cheaper academic versions of products to people who don't qualify for the education license. This might be a case where crime does pay, for the seller and the buyer, and if it is, then its a good story.

But for now...

My mom left her Ipod hooked to the stereo in the living room, and I decided to see what was on it. So I chose to shuffle the songs and find out what she was into. John Mayer, Five for Fighting, Janis Ian and Beyonce - in other words, nothing too racy or controversial, and with the exception of Ian, artists I don't dislike.

Then the shuffle hit a song called "It's Like That," by Mariah Carey, an artist I do dislike. I let the song play, knowing that the shuffle feature meant I'd hear a different artist next song. Plus, I was too far away to hit the skip button.

Midway through the song, I thought I'd just heard Mariah Carey rap about chicken and lotion. I assumed I'd heard wrong, and this was just a case of "S'cuse me while I kiss this guy."

But I later googled the lyrics, and my ears were vindicated. Here are the lyrics for that verse.

"You like this and you know it - Caution it's so explosive
Them chickens is ash and I'm lotion
Baby come and get it, let me give you what you need..."

Wow. Mariah is so hot she's explosive. That's not good. And she's also lotion. I gotta say, there had to be other, more suitable words that rhymed with caution.

That album sold like gangbusters.

Next song please...